Tuk-tuks, Trains and Transport Galor...

Like I said, I have decided to approach Thailand a little differently. I will be posting stories that have more to do with Southeast Asian travel in general so you will find a wide spectrum of countries and locations discussed in the upcoming blogs. Topics are also discussed in more general terms with more of an emphasis on "how" the experience made me feel and less emphasis on the "where" the experience happened. Let me know if you like this approach or if you find it 'boring' or 'tedious.'Feed back is always welcome.

On with the show!

America lacks creativity in the transportation department. Despite our obvious initial contributions of the car and airplane, we have fallen short in the area of creativity. The roads back home are filled with a never-ending parade of mass manufactured cars and trucks. People don’t travel by train anymore - tractors are only for the fields. And when is the last time you saw more than two people on a motorbike? Where are the tuk-tuks? The sawngthaews? The rickety buses filled with karaoke-singing locals? Does this all sound very foreign? That’s because it is…
Obviously the word ‘travel’ implies movement. Movement via foot or road or water. Via vehicles as varied as their inhabitants. Movement is the singular constant in a traveler’s life and so the mode of this movement becomes of particular interest to that traveler. When your days are filled with endless stretches of road you begin to pay a great deal of attention to what is taking you down that road.
Southeast Asia provides an enormous range of transportation techniques. You can’t turn a corner without being accosted by some well-meaning driver prepared to whisk you from point A to point B in his taxi, tuk-tuk, sawngthaew, bus, or moped. Transportation here is so available and so varied that it is indeed possible to take a boat, a taxi, and a train all in one day. I know this to be true because we did it. We boarded a modern fast-boat ferry in Malaysia, took a taxi to the border of Thailand, boarded a $2 train bound for Hat Yai and drug our exhausted feet down the busy streets of a new country – Thailand – all in less than 24 hours. Yes, it was a very long day.
But it isn’t only the shear array of transport via water, road and rail here in Asia – it’s the astounding variety and impressive creativity of the vehicles themselves. Some of these vehicles are familiar in name – buses, trains, ferries and the like – but as with all forms of “normal,” Southeast Asia has put its own spin on even these seemingly dull movement machines.
Take buses for example. Seems pretty straightforward right? A bus is the most common vehicle of mass transport worldwide. An elongated vehicle with numerous seats, the windows always sticking, the air stale the world over. Even in Southeast Asia the buses look like buses even if most of them are precariously close to complete breakdown. But it’s the interior of the bus that makes a Southeast Asian bus a Southeast Asian bus.
No bus, no matter how old or how decrepit it might be, is without cheap tacky polyester curtains. The practical purpose is of course to keep out that relentless sun but one has to question why they seem to have been required to use the world’s most hideous flowery designs in every puke-inducing color combination known to man. It’s like there is a factory somewhere deep in Thailand experimenting with hallucinogens and curtain design simultaneously. But even if you are color blind and fashion ignorant, you cannot avoid or ignore the even more universal characteristic of a Southeast Asian bus – the comic and horrific use of karaoke while en route.
Many a bus that appeared to be without basic necessities like seat cushions or windows that stay either up or down has been equipped with a color TV at the front above the driver and the requisite Thai Karaoke DVD Collection.
How can I possibly convey the feelings evoked when you realize that your next 6 hours of bumpy, winding roads will be accompanied by the sound track of your fellow traveler’s foreign voices singing to the ridiculously upbeat twang of Thailand’s version of hip-hop music? It can be humorous at best and mind-numbingly irritating at worst. After hours of watching the world’s worst love-drama videos played continuously at ear-splitting volumes one can begin to doubt one’s sanity. Especially when you realize you are actually trying to sing along!
But if buses aren’t your thing or if you prefer to travel at a slower pace that allows you to stare contently out the window at the passing scenery while a railcar full of locals stares just as contently at you, then trains are for you.
Ah, trains – the clickety-clack of the rails, the romantic rhythm of the tracks, the bad food, the growing restlessness… You see, I am new to this train travel thing. My knowledge of the railroads comes from old Merle Haggard songs and a few movies. And let me tell you, ol’ Merle never rode the rails in Southeast Asia. There are no hobos here – only locals laden with fruits and boxes and living creatures in cages. It is like a market on rails except that the main attraction here isn’t the stalls or the smells. It’s me, Lisa and Desirae. Those seated close stare directly at us and those unfortunate enough to be seated ahead or behind this Caucasian freak show made multiple trips to the bathroom or just walked by and gawked.
We took multiple trains in Thailand and despite the unwanted attention, the heat and the occasional two hour delay (can someone explain to me how a train is late?), I found a certain appeal to this mode of travel.
Unlike a bus, a train offers a limited amount of personal mobility. The scenery slides by instead of jolting and jerky along. And after a while I took the unceasing stares as permission to do a little staring of my own. The sweet-faced local that fell asleep on Lisa’s shoulder, the small boy hanging out of the window – his smile already reflecting the easy pleasantness of his country folk, the old couple who seemed to so thoroughly enjoy the food that looked inedible and tasted even worse – these are characters I have shared a railcar with. Characters whose nuances and expressions would have certainly been missed on a bus.
But the real joys of Southeast Asian travel and the true creativity contained therein are not expressed in these long distance modes of transportation. To really enjoy the flare and ingenuity of this region one has only to hop aboard that pinnacle of Southeast Asian transport – the infamous and ingenious tuk-tuk.
Tuk-tuk! What a great name. With a name like that you have to expect something enormously entertaining and inevitably annoying. And your expectations are not to be disappointed.
A tuk-tuk is not easy to define because of the variety and variation of the vehicle but there are certain shared qualities across the board. Almost all tuk-tuks originated from a motorcycle. The engines, handlebars, gearshifts, and brakes are either from a motorcycle, part of a motorcycle, or very similar to those on a motorcycle. So you can consider a motorcycle as the foundation.
On this foundation a number of additions and adaptations are added. Some tuk-tuks are simply a motorcycle which has had a large side-cart attached. Something like a wooden cart with one or two wheels and a bench or two strapped alongside your run of the mill Japanese or old Russian road bike. These rudimentary models are often associated with smaller, rural towns and often double as trailers for produce and materials.
But from this basic model the sky is the limit. A popular design in Thailand is the model which sports the front end of motorcycle – the single tire, handlebars, and driver sitting up front – but the back has two wheels and a bench that allows room for two or three people in a squeeze. The whole backside is covered by a cheap tin ‘roof.’ Most often the seats are covered in bright shades of cheap vinyl and the outside sports creative patterns of bright colors as well.
The sheer excess of these vehicles in Southeast Asia is astounding. They have a cult following all their own and it’s easy to see why. What other vehicle is specific to an area and shows so much variation and creativity? We saw models that ranged from the VW bug-like variety in Phitsanulok to the popular Laos model which has three benches in the back which often results in ‘overcrowding.’ On one such occasion, we had 7 people and their various boxes, bags, produce, etc. piled, seated, and hanging from the tuk-tuk. In Cambodia the tuk-tuks are actually trailers attached to the tail-end of a motorbike which gives them the appearance of some modern-day Cinderella carriage.
Naturally, they are all ridiculously loud and obnoxious with mufflers that rival the worst moped screech. And it seems that every Southeast Asian country has produced a class of males whose soul purpose is to drive tuk-tuks and harass passing tourist. I would almost swear that their first spoken words are “Where you go?” or “Tuk-tuk lady?” Their persistence is renown and for good reason. It’s like being followed by a pack of tireless three year olds. It’s irritating, infuriating, and frustrating but I know I will miss their endless calls which are as much a part of my Southeast Asian memories as fried rice and friendly smiles. My tuk-tuk memories will doubtlessly be nostalgic and pleasant despite having been ripped off by a driver multiple times and having to hold on with white knuckles as we zipped through traffic.
The transportation wonders in Southeast Asia are endless. There are sawngthaews, or jumbos, which are basically pickups with a bed covered by a high roof and modified to contain two or three benches in the bed. While the wind whipping through your hair while the crystal clear images of scenery flash by can sound romantic at first, this is a feeling that subsides quickly as more and more and more people, produce and packages are loaded on and the air becomes stifling within.
And of course there are the hordes of mopeds in every city, town and village zipping around like some swarm of irresponsible bees. It’s hard to imagine a day in Southeast Asia without the constant bbbbmmmmmmzzzzz of a moped in the background. If Southeast Asia was to have a soundtrack, the moped muffler would be it.
Then there are the two-wheel tractors with attached wooden trailers, the horse drawn carts, and a myriad of other homemade vehicles. It is truly a never-ending and ever-changing list.
And perhaps that is part of what draws restless travelers from the world over to this area. Transportation here is an art, movement a constant and elaborate part of life: principles that every traveler can identify with. If travel is movement and movement is transport then Southeast Asia is the king of travel indeed.

I know that stories like this would be best with a picture for reference but I'm not positive how to incorporate pictures onto my blog so you'll have to trust your imagination - or if you just can't figure out exactly what the heck a tuk-tuk is supposed to be, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_rickshaw for a picture. Lisa has some great pics lined up for our time in Thailand so be sure to check our her photos when she posts them.

Alright I have one more blog for today then I'll leave you nice people alone for a while. :)

Love from the road...